In Honor of...

This post is in honor of having a routine again. I snapped the photo before their first day of school on our front porch and am just settling into a routine again. I do much better when school dictates my time. Don't get me wrong, I love summer and having my kids home, but I was just off and out-of-whack this summer.

The kids are back in school and really enjoying it. Maggie started second grade, new teacher, new school, new friends, homework and spelling tests, computer lab (we didn't even have one in Cali. I was shocked when I saw the computer lab at Back to School Night, 32 Mac computers, new and shining) and longer days and riding the bus home...it's all new for her. She is amazed at how nice everyone is and that there is actually warm water and soap in the bathrooms, there are definitely budget problems in Cali.

Sam started preschool, just three mornings a week. There was no transition for him, he walked right in and that was that, he was ready. He has had safety week, colors, shapes and apples and is looking forward to his fieldtrip to the pumpkin patch in October.

Aloha photos

I've been meaning to post some of our Hawaii photos for about a month. Enjoya.

Big Beach
In Lahaina at the Fish Company, our last night

The top of Haleakala
Haleakala, behind us you can see the Big Island of Hawaii
Big Beach
Coconut Milk, it wasn't a favorite

They shine...

Quoting Ms. Hannigan from "Annie" as she yells at the orphans, "Rise and shine! ... all gonna clean this dump till it shines like the top of the Chrysler building." How fitting this quote was for me and the state of my house this morning. It had been awhile, okay, way too long, and oh how my floors needed it.

Last Night

Last night, Maggie finished her reading and ran outside in the backyard to play with Sam and Brian. I lingered on the couch, too tired to move and watched them out the window, their voices echoing as they ran back and forth, their little feet tromping the green grass. I saw dozens of Magpie birds scare from the trees in the neighbors yard, their confusion at where to go or what to do next was amusing as there didn't seem to be a leader. I reflected only months ago at not having a backyard or a place for the kids to run and I felt a joy and contentment as I reflected on the blessings of now. Contentment, we are happy here...we were happy there as well, but our joy is more full. I love having a yard to play in...a safe haven for my children to be children in.

I smell Fall in the air. The mornings and evenings are cool now and oh, how I am looking forward to that old familiar Fall that I know will come and that I've missed for years. We are waiting for those leaves to change and for the mountains in the distance to transform...and how spectacular that will be.

Beginnings and Ends

Writing is therapy for me, it brings healing and peace, it helps me make sense of the jumble of thoughts and emotions that crowd my head and heart. We've had a lot of new beginnings the last few weeks and some difficult endings and I've been meaning to sit down and write all about them and then don't know if I have the courage to record some of those thoughts that drift around in my head.

To begin, I got my sweet husband back on August 12. It was long series of goodbyes for him, leaving those people who he has worked closely with for over five years and grown to love. There was a unique connection with many of them, as they were his support and friends as we experienced all of the ups and downs with Caleb and they were there for us when we had to say goodbye to our sweet boy. It was an emotional rollercoaster for Brian and for them, not knowing if or when he would see any of them again.

The following day, we hopped on a few different airplanes and flew to Maui, HI, where we spent a lot of time together as a family...we were all able to reconnect, Brian had ample time with the kids, snorkeling, swimming and playing in the waves, sometimes I watched from afar, being reminded again and again of the blessings of my family, my children, my husband, saying to myself every once in awhile, "they are really mine" and being able to rejoice in that. Other times I was right down there in the water with them, enjoying them up close, exploring the underwater world with them as we all occasionally spit out salt water. It was a grand trip...we felt a little guilty for staying so long, the kids missing their first soccer games and practices, Sam missing his first week and a half of preschool...my logic in all of the missing was that you are always going to miss something, but you have to focus on what you are gaining instead, what your family will be gaining as you spend time together and all that missing ended up being worth what we gained from the time together...there is sacrifice in all aspects of our lives.

While I was away in Hawaii, I received a call from my Dad. A call we all wish wouldn't have come, a call telling us that my Dad's angel mother, my sweet grandmother had passed from this life into the next. She had done it quickly, no one had a chance to tell her goodbye or their last "I love you." I was heartbroken...there was regret as I had thought to go and see her again before we left, but had not, there were tears and quiet grieving in a setting where I no longer wanted to be...and then there was a long flight home and tiredness all mixed with the emotions of the viewing and the funeral and seeing my angelic grandmother for the last time in this sphere and yet realizing that she was no longer here.

I was able to find peace in her passing as I let my own selfish desires go. She did not suffer, she went quickly as I am sure she wanted and she has been reunited with her husband, her mother and father, her siblings and aunts and uncles and what a sweet reunion I am sure it was for her. She is with our sweet Caleb as well and that brought me peace as well and although I miss her terribly, there is peace that comes as I think of her good life, full of service and unconditional love as well as her firm testimony of the gospel and her grace in enduring to the end.

And so with the beginnings of school and activities for the kids, there were also endings and until we meet agains. How grateful I am for the gospel of Jesus Christ and for the knowledge we have of life after death and the eternities, that this life is not the end, but only a step on our path of progression.

Opening the Windows

Yesterday was an especially happy day. The weather was unusually cool, the temperatures must have dropped by about 30 degrees overnight, and so I took advantage and opened the windows in my house for the first time since moving in. We've had the air on, because the heat is just too stifling, but the cooler temps. allowed me to open my windows and let the cool breeze in and it felt so nice and was so refreshing and it motivated me to clean all of my windows and shutters and it felt so good when I was finished...it brought peace into the house and into my heart...and then later that day, I met up with some of my friends from junior high and high school and we were able to reconnect after years and as we laughed and talked and shared things in our lives, I was reminded again, why we chose each other as friends then, and why we are still friends today...and to end the day just right, I picked Brian up at the airport and now have him home for the weekend...and this is the last week we will be apart. It has been a long 7 weeks without him here. A part of me has been missing all summer and I look forward to putting all the pieces back together.

Pool Days

Maggie and Sam started swim lessons at the city pool this week. They are learning their strokes and enjoying the coolness of the water. Brian stayed one extra day on Monday and was able to see them swim at their first lesson. Afterward, we drove down to his Mom's house and spent the day with Brian's siblings, the cousins and Grandma Sharon. The kids loved playing with their cousins, swimming in Grandma's pool, and we all got a good laugh out of Tex the dog, who got thrown in by Uncle James, and actually enjoyed it when the shock wore off. We also enjoyed the food, it wouldn't be a Ramos reunion or party without oodles of food and lots of leftovers.

Draper Days

Draper celebrates its heritage every year in July. The kids participated in the children's parade, had balloon swords made and had their faces painted...they were excited about meeting and getting their bikes decorated by Miss Rodeo Draper 2009, Sam especially. After the parade, everyone convened in Draper Historical Park and enjoyed cremesicles and a magic show. While in the park, I ran into my great, great great Grandfather Perry Fitzgerald, who came across the plains with Brigham Young in the first company and helped to settle Draper...okay, didn't meet him, came across the statue of him.

On the weekend, we walked back to Draper Park and enjoyed the food, music and festivities. Maggie got a free ride down the gigantic Titanic slide in order to retrieve her crying, scared brother who refused to come down without a little coercion...I don't know what got into him.

We are enjoying Draper and all the great things that it offers, the parks, the pool, the mountain trails, the temple and the sense of community.

Summer

Maggie and Sam are enjoying their summer, their first official warm summer of their lifetime. They are loving the yard, room to run, the horse pasture down the street and Daisy the neighborhood mascot which happens to be a full-grown grumpy sheep and of course the coolness of the pools, you've got to stay cool in 98 + degree weather. They are also enjoying having family so close, cousins and aunts and uncles and grandparents...they haven't looked back once, other then when Sam said, "I miss our old house" and I asked "What do you miss about it?" and he replied, "the carpet was so soft there, the carpet here is crusty," laughing followed...we obviously didn't take into account Sam's desire for soft carpet.

I am also enjoying the warm summer days and yet we hibernate inside until it cools enough to go outside and oh how I love those cool summer nights, my favorite time of day. We've enjoyed late evening walks and bike rides to the neighborhood park and the kids adore watering Grandpa's garden. Two nights ago I heard screaming, I went up to the garden boxes and something magical had happened, the kids had discovered and picked our first zucchini of the season. My sister Heather surprised me with planted garden boxes when we arrived in late June, an early birthday present. So we've had our first zucchini and I am waiting for the tomatoes, oh I can't wait for those home-grown, toasted, tomato sandwiches.

This transition has been a bittersweet one for me. Brian is still working in California for another couple of weeks. The days are long without him, the nights are longer. Not having him here during the week, makes this feel like a vacation for us, a visit and in a portion of my mind I still feel like we'll just pack our bags in a few days and head back to California. I look forward to those days when I'll hear the sound of the garage opening as I scramble to pull dinner together and I look forward to the nights around the dinner table when we'll laugh and talk about our day, I look forward to those cool summer nights talking out on the porch while the kids sleep soundly in their beds and I'll enjoy sharing Brian's side of the bed with him, instead of just dreaming he is there.

Back to the Desert

The Fitzgerald Family, (some of them) my Dad is one of ten children.

My family with my Grandma Mary.

My Dad, on the ascent.

Maggie and Sam got to ride in the UniMOG with their cousins.
The Fiery Furnace.



We enjoyed the Fitzgerald Family reunion over the 4th of July weekend in Moab, Utah. On the first day we explored the Fiery Furnace in Arches National Park, with my brother Andrew. The following day, I celebrated my birthday whitewater rafting on a portion of the Colorado River called Westwater. That stretch of river boasts class 3 and 4 rapids which frequently drenched me, Brian and my Uncle Patrick...bathing in the rapids, as they came over the bow of the boat was a great way to celebrate my birthday, there was no place I would have rather been. After we went through the first couple rapids, I realized why I couldn't convince my Dad to come to the front of the boat.

To celebrate the 4th of July, we took a family jeep caravan into the La Sal Mountains, near Moab and enjoyed a barbecue and the amazing views at the top. Later that night, we enjoyed the fireworks from a spot in town.

A big Thank You to Andy and Autumn who let us stay in their desert palace and for hosting everyone. We had a great time...and Andy, thanks for showing us the way out of the Furnace, that was memorable.

A Few Changes

Mrs Samse, Maggie and Sam
The Magic Chair at the Mechanical Museum
The Franciscan Restaurant, amazing views and the best Crab in San Fran.My mom and dad, at the Japanese Tea Gardens
The Japanese Tea Gardens
The moving truck, and we used every inch

Last year we were vacationing in Europe, drifting aimlessly with the wind...this year, we've been caught in a whirlwind and it's been quite the adventure...The end of the school year brought on a lot of changes in our family. Maggie said goodbye to her first grade teacher the second week of June and the next day, we got the good news that we would indeed be moving.

SURPRISE! a few weeks ago we moved from CA to UT, but before that we said a final goodbye to San Francisco's Wharf and one of our favorite crab restaurants. The kids always loved the vintage games at the Mechanical Museum, so we couldn't skip over those either.

Thankfully, my parents came to help the week we moved, we celebrated our 9th Anniversary at Wicked in San Francisco and between all the moving boxes we managed to visit a few last places that we loved in and around the city including the Japanese Tea Gardens in Golden Gate Park and the tidepools in Moss Beach near our ward building. We even indulged in a few of our favorite restaurants for the last time...we also had many bittersweet goodbyes with those friends who we have grown so close to the last 5 years while living in the Bay Area...those separations have not been easy.

Last Year

I've had a bit of nostalgia all week thinking of our trip last year to Europe. One year ago Brian and I were just arriving in Venice, Italy. I remember the warm air and surprising humidity, the murky water, and the breeze blowing my hair as we sped through the canals of Venice in the watertaxi. I remember the Italian couple across from us, her petite, short summer dress and his tailored button up shirt and leather shoes, going into the heart of Venice for a weekend retreat. I remember tasting my first authentic Gelato and wandering through the narrow alleys of Venice searching for our little hotel. I remember walking through the streets as the sun set and just wandering, losing ourselves to the sounds of Venice, the dueling orchestras at St. Mark's Square and the church bell tower as it chimed out the passing hours and I remember seeing the full, red moon across the waterway as the night deepened.

Dancing Days

Maggie performed in her end-of-year dance performance last weekend. The show was "Mary Poppins" and Maggie was a lamb in the Barnyard scene. She performed baaa beautifully and was smiling and graceful. For the finale, all of the dancers decorated their own kites and danced to "Let's Go Fly A Kite". The show was so memorable, I've been singing the tunes over and over in my head since then...ugh.

Ponderings

Maggie and Sam are outside playing, their voices echo and spin against the walls of the house and drift in through the open window...there is reason to rejoice, the sun is shining after days of coastal fog...our summer is not warm and my body and soul crave the warmth of the sun...this morning, I had a few moments to reflect, to lay in the blanket of sunlight streaming into my bedroom through the glass door and just listen to the singing birds and the wind, gently moving the majestic trees. I felt a great peace and stillness as I lay there, a communion of sorts with myself and my Heavenly Father, "Be still, and know that I am God..." echoing through the chambers of my heart and mind, even though my logical mind tempts me to feel otherwise as doubt drifts in...life has been stressful for months and I haven't made enough time to just "be still", but this morning was different and I am grateful for the warm sunshine and the quiet whisperings and the gentleness of the wind.

The little things.

Humility and Gratitude, intermingled together in our daily lives. The talks on Sunday focused on these and really made me reflect. So, I am trying to focus on all the little blessings in my life and express appreciation for them. I am grateful for many things, but today I am especially grateful for online bill pay, for the time and the money it saves me so that I can do the more important things...I know it sounds like such a trivial thing, but I am grateful all the same.