I have never liked the ticking of a clock or for that matter, the passing of time. The empty ticking sound drives me crazy, my brain seems to zone in on that tick, tock ticking sound and can't seem to relax enough to sleep. I have never liked wearing a watch either. I can't stand to think that my watch ticks away the time while blood still runs through my veins. I don't need to be reminded every moment of every day that time is passing. I read once that we should find ourselves naturally uncomfortable with 'time' because we are eternal beings. I believe that wholeheartedly. In college I would get to my classes on time, but it wasn't by my own watch, it was by watching when the walkways got busy or when the library started to empty out or when the shadows on the lawn would change. I only remember being late to two classes in my college career. One because I fell asleep during a short break and the other because I failed to hear or maybe set my alarm on a finals day. The passing of time is not my friend and yet it is a part of life.
The transition back into the school routine is also a part of life and yet is is not my friend either. The routine has been a lot harder on me then on the kids. I feel a little out of my element and I hate being the nagging after-school Mom that seems to always be saying the following phrases, "sit down and do your homework"..."hurry and do this so you have more time to do that,"... "get in the car now or we are going to be late." I miss those blissful relaxing days of summer when I didn't have to nag and when time wasn't my dictator. I hate the pressure of 'not enough time in the day' and the pressure of 'getting the kids into bed on time so they aren't exhausted the next day'. I hate feeling over scheduled and the feeling that my kids are over scheduled (even if they only have one after-school activity a few times a week), and yet, that one activity consumes the late afternoon hours and then there is dinner and homework and the night waxes on. I found myself doing the dinner dishes last night at 10:00 p.m...I remember thinking "I've got to find a way to get it together" and yet, that even takes time.
7 years ago
Agreed! I keep thinking how hard it is for everyone to get older because they have activities that commit you to being places. I've loved the toddler days of nothing (but at the same time, I hated it too.) Way to go Charity for doing those dishes at 10 at night! I may have let them go to the next morning… starting that day off on the wrong foot! Hopefully you'll just figure most of the routine out as you go, and won't have to spend too much time "getting it together." Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI feel so much the same about the evening time crunch (and about wearing a watch!) You always express yourself so well - love reading your blog. Looks like you packed a lot of fun into those timeless summer days!
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