The time...

The time is winding down. I realized last night that I only have about 6 weeks left with this little bun cooking in my oven. I know she is getting bigger, my ribs hurt and I have sore spots on my belly. Maggie and Sam shower my belly with kisses and hugs and tell me with big eyes as they look at my belly, "the baby is definitely getting bigger." I had to explain to Sam what those beautiful lines around my belly button were the other day, "Sam, those are called stretch marks and I got them when I carried you around for 9 months, my 9 lb. 5 oz. baby boy." He thought that was really interesting of course.

In some ways, mainly the uncomfortableness of the end, I feel like I am going to be pregnant forever and in other ways, it's just around the corner and there isn't enough time or energy in the day to get everything done before this little girl will arrive. We look forward to her coming with excitement and a little trepidation. It has been almost 5 years since we've had a newborn at home. Maggie and Sam are so independent. What will it be like to start all over again with the baby stage, the sleepless nights, the constant nursing...we know what we're in for. And yet, I pray that I will be able to enjoy every minute of those sleepless nights, knowing that this little one is a gift to us, entrusted to our care. Caleb is close to her now and is mindful of us. In many ways I feel like he sent her at this particular time in the year, on the anniversary of his passing, as a reminder that there is joy in the journey even after the bitterness of trial.